Just one of those days.

I want to dance.

To be suspended in a moment of time. To smile. To be free. To be accepted.
That's what I want.

That I need, Is something different.
The self harm is getting better. But we'll see how that plays out. My trust is still just as lifeless, if not more so. But I'm trying to rebuild it.

Schools taking its told. I'm not really worried about it. But its the applying to University I worry about. I already know I'm going to hate the change in pace. I'm not going to like the break in my routine.

I'm contemplating on whether or not I want to look for a job. Right now, everything seems to be piling up. And I'm having a hard time handling it as is. The lack of friends I have. The lack of trust. It makes me nervous. Trying something new on my own makes me nervous too.

I wish someone was here. With me. Maybe even a hug or two. Its hard to smile when it hurts to much. I'm trying to be strong. I am. I really am. But inside I'm breaking down.

I know I'm making everything seem so much more tragic then it actually might seem to be. Sorry. Its just time when I get things out, since some people refuse to listen.


Come back when you can.
You've done nothing at all to make me love you less.